Talk to anyone that has lived in the throes of addiction and found their way out, they will, in one way or another, express a sense of becoming free.
Recovery or the recovery process doesn’t happen all at once – it happens over time and in stages.
Much like American independence.
Sure, the Declaration of Independence was ratified on July 4, 1776, but the path toward independence started many years before and ultimately took 18 years to fully realize a separation or freeing from Great Britain in the United States.
As someone with a bachelors and masters degree in history, studying the Revolutionary and Constitution-forming period, I have a certain affinity for our founding and the creation of a framework to keep things orderly.
When I was studying history at the University of South Dakota, I was in the early years of my sobriety and recovery. I was constantly searching for meaningful symbolism between what I was learning and what I was experiencing, and nothing stuck more than the notion of independence and the process of becoming independent.
It helped too, that my sober date was 3 JULY 2005.
Symbolism.
A story.
We follow stories. We craft a narrative and live out that narrative.
I was doing that with my recovery having its start on Independence Day.
On July 3, 1776, John Adams wrote to his wife Abigail about the approval of the Declaration of Independence:
The Second Day of July 1776, will be the most memorable Epocha, in the History of America.
I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated, by succeeding Generations, as the great anniversary Festival. It ought to be commemorated, as the Day of Deliverance by solemn Acts of Devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with Pomp and Parade, with Shews, Games, Sports, Guns, Bells, Bonfires and Illuminations from one End of this Continent to the other from this Time forward forever more.
You will think me transported with Enthusiasm but I am not. -- I am well aware of the Toil and Blood and Treasure, that it will cost Us to maintain this Declaration, and support and defend these States. -- Yet through all the Gloom I can see the Rays of ravishing Light and Glory. I can see that the End is more than worth all the Means. And that Posterity will tryumph in that Days Transaction, even altho We should rue it, which I trust in God We shall not.
This entire quote from Adams rarely gets its full due. We give him credit for recognizing that the Fourth of July will be a day of celebrations, but the last paragraph is really the most important.
Sure, we did a thing (quit drinking on a particular day), but that was the easy part. The Gloom and Toll and spill of Blood and spend of Treasure lie ahead. This is the necessary mess that must be dealt with before we get the “Rays of ravishing Light and Glory.”
For me, the ravishing rays of light and glory of my recovery did not come for 3 to 4 more years. I was sober and free from the confinement of my addiction, but I did not have a personal Constitution to operate from and to support a meaningful pursuit of Happiness.
We live in a time of optimization and efficiency. But independence isn’t something we can optimize. Yes, we can make things less hard, we can learn from lessons of the past, but its a constant pursuit towards a more perfect life.
This sobriety anniversary for me is one of mixed emotions.
I’m deeply proud of myself and the progress I’ve made in 21 years. And I know there is more progress to make in the next 21.
And as America celebrates its 250th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence, we too are dancing with the struggle of change and progress and working to fulfill the edicts of “all men are created equal” and securing “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”
But I’m also struggling with a new hole in my life after saying goodbye to our 15 year old beagle Jefferson on June 29. He’s been such a fixture in my life, a dog-shaped shadow everywhere I went. He dictated the meandering direction of our morning walks with his nose.
Now, I get to go wherever I want. It’s freeing, but not in a good way.
The feeling I have is so similar to the early days of sobriety. I’m no longer connected to this thing, but I don’t know what it means or how I should feel.
But what I do know is that addiction turned out to be a gift.
And having Jefferson in my life for so long was also a gift.
What follows is how I live that gift and Independence.
Have a safe, happy, and Fourth of July, and may you experience Rays of ravishing Light and Glory.
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